If you are a victim of blackmail or sextortion, let me explain why you are in the right place and found the best person to help you. I am Frank M. Ahearn, a global privacy expert, author of The New York Times Bestseller, How to Disappear, and one of the leading experts on combating blackmail and sextortion.

If caught up in a blackmail, you need to go dark by shutting down your social sites or making them as private as possible. Also, take inventory of what they identified about you. Do they know your real name, email mail address, mobile number, work, spouse, and social sites? 

As far as the threat for money, under no circumstances do you pay. If you do, it will make matters worse. For starters, you give them more information about you, possibly your home address. Plus, the payment itself can be used as a tool for further extortion. A payment made invites them to return for more. 

Everyone freaks out and is unsure what to do or who to call? If law enforcement is on your thought, it is the wrong move. Their grand plan is for you to ignore the situation, which is the stupidest advice possible. I deal with more blackmail cases in a week than most cops in their career. The national and international agencies have far more pressing matters to investigate. It is easier for them to tell you to ignore. If you do go the route of ignoring, guaranteed your content will show up online. If you are lucky, you will find it before someone you know does.

Typically, blackmailers do not expose; they prefer to harass and stalk to extract money. They know that if they release the material, no payment will come their way. Although some build bogus websites or quickly upload to streaming sites for shock value; and shock, it does. Again, most do not reveal, the problem is you do not know which will or won’t. 

One of the key concerns is whether the scammer will contact family or friends. Some do reach out for shock value, but not necessarily to expose. They may ask your spouse or child to let you know they are trying to get in touch. No doubt unsettling.

There are known groups out there that use particular methods. The Filipino group does a little chatting but asks specific questions to figure out your identity. Then they lure you to Skype, and the woman on the video claims the audio is broken, and so she types. Things get funky, and then they send you screenshots of your actions. Sorry to say, but it is a looped video, not a real woman. Then the blackmail begins. 

There is a vicious Moroccan group that will post the content if you pay or not. Another crew places ads on massage websites; they get sexual in the texting and use the info to blackmail. The list goes on with dominatrix blackmail, sissy blackmail, Facebook, Tinder, and Grindr sextortion. Predatorial blackmailer’s prey on women but do not want money, but control, and more photos.

I am sure you are thinking enough of this Frank, what to do about the blackmail. It all begins with a consultation. I will be able to identify the group, which helps me create a plan to get you out of the mess and protect you from exposure.

I can resolve some situations in the consultations. Other times it can take a month or two where I direct you on how to respond to the blackmailer. Depending on what they know about, you will determine if you need to create online disinformation. The objective is always to protect your identity and avoid exposure. 

Online blackmail and sextortion go beyond the digital world, and when it does, it is challenging to combat. I am referring to situations where individuals have physically entered your life, be it for one hour or one year.

In-call escorts, who enter a home or hotel room, provide opportunities to gather information to set a person up. One step out of the room allows them to search through your belongings, collect identification, confidential business data, who knows.

What is even more dangerous is the relationship of understanding or, as some call it, a sugar daddy situation. These situations feed or raise a person's financial standings and status. Plus, you have opened the door to your life, possibly traveled, in photos together, and did the deed of sending them an electronic payment, a severe digital footprint. The precarious part will come when you decide to end the relationship, and they will then fall from financial grace. Who knows what the reaction will be, a demand for a big payoff to walk away? Or enact revenge.

Blackmail is not gendered biased; women too fall prey. Typically, those of wealth and success. These blackmailers are usually younger or less successful males. Many who find themselves in arrangements know it is not forever; therefore, some prepare for a rainy day. One of the issues with knowing your blackmailer is it can turn into a stalking situation where they don't disappear from your life. When relationship blackmail begins, it can be hard to discern the true motivations of the individual. Sometimes it can be a play for a big payoff or a grave emotional issue. Either one is not good for you.

I have worked cases where blackmailers hunkered down in a hotel near a victim's home. The physical presence is a threat to the possibility of knocking one's door. Then what occurs is notes on parked cars, photos of the building where one works, and the extreme of pictures taken of family members. All of this is stalking, again is it emotional or a vicious game played for a payday. If you are in an arrangement with someone, plan carefully on how you are going to end. Is there the possibility it can become explosive? 

Protecting yourself and getting out of blackmail relationship is a delicate matter. If you are in one, I can help.

FA@FrankAhearn.com